Strength & Courage

It takes strength to be firm.
It takes courage to be gentle.

It takes strength to stand guard.
It takes courage to let down your guard.

It takes strength to conquer.
It takes courage to surrender.

It takes strength to be certain.
It takes courage to have doubt.

It takes strength to fit in.
It takes courage to stand out.

It takes strength to feel a friend’s pain.
It takes courage to feel your own pain.

It takes strength to hide your own pains.
It takes courage to show them.

It takes strength to endure abuse.
It takes courage to stop it.

It takes strength to stand alone.
It takes courage to lean on another.

It takes strength to love.
It takes courage to be loved.

It takes strength to survive.
It takes courage to live.

~ Author Unknown

Forget Punxsutawney Phil...

...when you see the Girl Scouts setting-up camp outside the local markets and canvasing your neighborhood, you know Spring is just around the corner. Yeah! Bring on the Samoas, Thin Mints, and the treadmill!

Sleeping Single...well almost.

When you go through a year of emotional ups and downs you can expect Insomnia to move in like an unexpected uninvited relative. Ding-dong. Hello! Insomnia is here!

It's crazy when you are going through a divorce as a single mom because when you close your eyes at night, your mind kicks into overdrive. Emails unanswered, unpaid bills, attorney fees, custody issues, all swirl in my head. It's like watching a hurricane off the east coast on Doplar radar. It swirls and turns and gains strength as it gets closer to shore.

I wasn't always this way. For the previous 30 plus years of my life I was a sound sleeper. My family even jokes about one time when my mom was rushed to the hospital, I slept through the entire episode. Including the gurney being pulled right past my bedroom door! But I was 7 years old and had not a single worry in the world. I slept like a baby.

Fast forward a few decades and as a newly married woman I continued to sleep amazingly well. Regardless of the newlywed festivities that happened earlier on in the night I was never a "spooner". I always chose to sleep on my left side, hands folded as if praying and tucked under my left cheek (the one on my face, not the "other" cheek). My bedroom was always a safe haven. A retreat from the world. I built our newlywed bed like an old Italian lady would make a pan of lasagna. So no surprise when I crafted the bedding from the best linens, these cheeks (now we're talking about the other cheeks) rested on a top of the line pillow top mattress covered in Egyptian Cotton of the highest count, and topped off with a premium goose down comforter. Fast forward again to the arrival of our first daughter and say bye bye to the luxury bed linens. Once you see baby puke on your precious luxury linens, it's just not the same.

Being 5'11" and married at the time to a 6'2" man, we were perfectly comfortable with a Queen sized bed. Add a exceptionally tall toddler in the mix and we quickly decided to move up to the King size mattress. Aaahhh, sweet sweet sleep space. There was nothing like it. (Although I've heard that a King size mattress is the death of a marriage - we'll chat about that later).

Now that I have this lovely mattress all to myself it has once again returned to my oasis. I won't lie, there are times when I feel as if I'm sleeping in some place as vast as the Sahara and long for a confined space and my mind wanders back to the newlywed days of snuggling in the tiny Queen size bed. However, I've come to realize that I'd rather have those happy memories to keep me warm in a gigantic King size bed than have that same someone here in bed with me and feel I'm on an expedition in Anartica.

Now, as a single mom, at any given time during the night, my bedroom turns into the Pacific Ocean. The TV - blaring from the sitting room like a distress call from a ship about to sink. My bed - a life raft with three "survivors" sleeping as if being tossed about by the sea during a 100 year storm. My nightstand - an island peppered with wreckage from the day: a handful of Little Pets, sippy cups, animal crackers, or my latest read, earrings, my cat, a tiara, my iPhone and Starburst wrappers from my midnight pantry raid.

Let's not kid ourselves - I love sleep, I wasn't designed to run on only 3 hours of sleep. This is not my first choice. I'd much rather be in a luscious Ambien induced sleep in a dark bedroom, with a Do Not Disturb sign on my door, and promptly awake to breakfast in bed as my maid opens the lush velvet drapes to allow the sunshine to pour into my room as I welcome a new day. But the citizens of MomTown aren't always that cooperative.

This is my crazy season of life and I love it. I have to admit I love sleep, but I love this more. Although being kicked in the back or slapped by a flying preschooler's hand in the middle of REM is not ideal, but in the magical morning hours I love waking up with 10 precious little toes in my face. Or feeling the gentle pat of my 5 year old's little hand on my face each morning as she says, "I love you Mommy...you're my bestest friend. I love you more than sunshine." For this...these moments are what make my room a retreat from the world. No matter what the craziness of the day brings, there's always my safe haven.

One Mommy, One Preschooler, One Toddler, you do the math!

As I weed my way through being newly single, I find an obstacle at every corner. But I have an amazing family who pitches in where ever they can as well as a great support group of girlfriends who have been there and done that (and have the t-shirt). This is my life line. Those who truly know you and understand you...these are the people you cherish for eternity. The home front is one of the most difficult tasks to maneuver.

I am learning to juggle the house (all 7000 square feet of it), the basic maintenance, the laundry, the housekeeping, the grocery shopping, the snow shoveling (ugh), the two dogs and cat (oh and the siamese fighter fish!), volunteering at my daughter's preschool, and the list goes on. (Oh and did I mention: the house is currently on the market, so it has to stay in tip top shape in case any prospective buyers pop by unannounced. Which we all know Realtors LOVE to do that to sellers!) And add to the pile, teaching my preschooler to read and do basic addition.

The most challenging times though are the evenings. When everyone is tired and hungry (including myself) and there I find myself, just me...no calvary to walk through the door at 7 o'clock and pat you on the back and tell you what a great job you're doing and to lend a set of hands to help with dinner or homework or simply to pour me a glass of Cabernet. Nope, it's just me. Una Madre. During the crazy dinner frenzy last night as my toddler was redecorating my kitchen with PlayDoh and my Preschooler was trying to get Polly's plastic capris on (really, Mattel, you had to make plastic pants?) I started to feel a bit overwhelmed and just took a deep breath. Exhaled and said, "One mommy, only two hands, and two kiddos...please be patient, Love." And she stood there - all 3' 11" of her beautiful self - and said, "Mommy, if I give you my two hands then we'll have four!" Tears welled up in my eyes, and I thought, I love this child (Well, actually to be honest...first I thought, she's starting to get addition!! She does listen to me! Yeah!), this wise little girl at the age of 5 gets that even she has to pitch in and help as best as she can.

So I had her jump right in there and help with making dinner and then she thought it was so fun that we talked about other chores she could do around the house to help out. I love it! Not only because now I have a little helper, but I could see the satisfaction in her eyes and the smile placed on her face from the sense of accomplishment. Who knew folding laundry and doing Toilet Paper duty could build self-esteem?

I know as a mom of a preschooler I'm always amazed and intrigued at what she can actually do compared to what I thought she could do. So here's a few cool sites for getting your little ones involved in the day to day living. Enjoy! And feel free to post your own tips on how you get your little ones to help around the house.

Lotsofkids.com (Great lists broken down into various age ranges!)

12 Chore Chart Tips for Success

The Box System, Flower Pot System, Over the door organizer, just to name a few! (Love this article! And my 5 year old is having fun making her own cards from photos in magazines or ads and glueing them to the 3x5 cards. It's a win-win!)

"Ctrl+Alt Parenting" Check out this fabulous Virtual Nanny game!